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7 times Chris Pratt proved he was the perfect man
7 times Chris Pratt proved he was the perfect man Sing it with us, ladies: Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man Words: Claudia Han Chris Pratt brings the charm in the action adventure The Magnificent Seven, opening in cinemas Sept 22. We know what you’re thinking: The perfect man is like the Merlion — he doesn’t exist. Granted, it is a truth universally acknowledged that no man is perfect. But what if the universe decided it had had enough of being told what to think and decided to throw us all a curve ball? In support of this theory, we have two words that will convince you: Chris Pratt. All signs point to this man being, for all intents and purposes, wholly and sublimely perfect. Like, more perfect than if the Merlion spewed free iced Milo instead of water. If you aren’t already convinced that he’s a paragon of manhood, the following rhetorical questions should tip the balance. Has he ever been reported to do anything less than glorious and honourable? Is there even one troll on the nasty, mudslinging Internet who feels the need to besmirch his good name? Has he ever attempted to extricate himself from a narrative he did not ask to be a part of? Can even Amos Yee find something not to like about him? No. In fact, quite the contrary: Chris Pratt has demonstrated that he is, beyond a shadow of doubt, the perfect man. And he has done this not once but seven times. Look, we’ll prove it to you. 1. When he produced a six-pack out of nowhere Source: hitfix.com We are not saying that losing about 30kg in six months and going from being the lovably rotund lunkhead in Parks And Recreation to the lusciously ripped superhero in Guardians Of The Galaxy is everything. We are just saying the perfect guy has the looks of an Adonis and the personality of a fat kid who doesn’t take your acceptance for granted. And most probably still has McDelivery on speed dial. 2. When he answered a Reddit AMA in the perfect-est possible way Source: giphy.com On Reddit’s “Ask Me Anything” forum, a user asked: “I was recently bitten by a radioactive Chris Pratt. What is about to happen to me?” Chris answered: “Oh no. You’re probably gonna get fat and then skinny.” Ha ha, Chris! Like that’s what defines you, and not your humourous sense of humour! *twirls hair* 3. When he made a non-Donald Duck pancake for his son And posted a video of it on Instagram, with him insisting it looked just like Donald Duck and his adorable four-year-old son gently but firmly refusing to shield him from reality. And captioned the post, “Dad / noun informal / One’s father / Verb: ‘Chris made a Donald Duck pancake that was basically a perfect photocopy of the picture he saw online and his son Jack refused to see the resemblance, probably out of spite or a deep seeded jealousy of his father’s pancake skills, regardless Chris continued to dad.’” You should have added the adjective “perfectly” to the end of the sentence, Chris, you perfect father, you. Wait, all this perfection is making us a little dizzy. 4. When he apologised in advance for possibly screwing up Source: tumblr.com Ladies love a man who is not afraid to say he is sorry for the wrongs he has committed. But how mind-blowing it is when a man is willing to admit his wrongdoing even before he sins? Just before starting the press tour for Jurassic World last year, Chris posted a pre-emptive mea culpa on Facebook, saying: "I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming #JurassicWorld press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s). I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try!" Don’t be so hard on yourself, Chris. Want to watch I Not Stupid reruns together? 5. When he ran around in red stilettos on The Late Late Show With James Corden Source: giphy.com It wasn’t just an amusing stunt. No, it showed his sensitivity to the female experience and his willingness to walk a mile in another’s, er, shoes. Yes, it was a political statement on behalf of the voiceless, the marginalised, and those silently suffering the oppression of unnaturally high arches. What a man. 6. When he went bass fishing on the set of The Magnificent Seven “Look at this big ass bass! And more importantly the $20 zebco pushbutton Walmart special I used to haul it in”, he wrote as a caption for an Instagram post in which he was proudly brandishing the fish he had caught while working on his latest film. With that, he proved not only that he is a man your mother would approve of, but that he’d also be totally fun to bargain-hunt with in Sheng Siong. 7. When he proudly showed off his hair-braiding skills It has been two years since Chris revealed that he can turn his wife Anna Faris’ hair into a mean French braid — or rather, “freedom braid”, as he likes to call it. But we are still reeling from the perfection of his sensitive man fingers because the man braids his wife’s hair. Of course Star-Lord does. Because he’s perfect. He’s Chris Pratt. The Magnificent Seven opens in cinemas Sept 22. More Stories 7 reasons Lee Byung-hun is making it in Hollywood and Jay Chou didn’t 7 signs Denzel Washington was sent to save the human race
7 times Chris Pratt proved he was the perfect man Sing it with us, ladies: Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man Words: Claudia Han Chris Pratt brings the charm in the action adventure The Magnificent Seven, opening in cinemas Sept 22. We know what you’re thinking: The perfect man is like the Merlion — he doesn’t exist. Granted, it is a truth universally acknowledged that no man is perfect. But what if the universe decided it had had enough of being told what to think and decided to throw us all a curve ball? In support of this theory, we have two words that will convince you: Chris Pratt. All signs point to this man being, for all intents and purposes, wholly and sublimely perfect. Like, more perfect than if the Merlion spewed free iced Milo instead of water. If you aren’t already convinced that he’s a paragon of manhood, the following rhetorical questions should tip the balance. Has he ever been reported to do anything less than glorious and honourable? Is there even one troll on the nasty, mudslinging Internet who feels the need to besmirch his good name? Has he ever attempted to extricate himself from a narrative he did not ask to be a part of? Can even Amos Yee find something not to like about him? No. In fact, quite the contrary: Chris Pratt has demonstrated that he is, beyond a shadow of doubt, the perfect man. And he has done this not once but seven times. Look, we’ll prove it to you. 1. When he produced a six-pack out of nowhere Source: hitfix.com We are not saying that losing about 30kg in six months and going from being the lovably rotund lunkhead in Parks And Recreation to the lusciously ripped superhero in Guardians Of The Galaxy is everything. We are just saying the perfect guy has the looks of an Adonis and the personality of a fat kid who doesn’t take your acceptance for granted. And most probably still has McDelivery on speed dial. 2. When he answered a Reddit AMA in the perfect-est possible way Source: giphy.com On Reddit’s “Ask Me Anything” forum, a user asked: “I was recently bitten by a radioactive Chris Pratt. What is about to happen to me?” Chris answered: “Oh no. You’re probably gonna get fat and then skinny.” Ha ha, Chris! Like that’s what defines you, and not your humourous sense of humour! *twirls hair* 3. When he made a non-Donald Duck pancake for his son And posted a video of it on Instagram, with him insisting it looked just like Donald Duck and his adorable four-year-old son gently but firmly refusing to shield him from reality. And captioned the post, “Dad / noun informal / One’s father / Verb: ‘Chris made a Donald Duck pancake that was basically a perfect photocopy of the picture he saw online and his son Jack refused to see the resemblance, probably out of spite or a deep seeded jealousy of his father’s pancake skills, regardless Chris continued to dad.’” You should have added the adjective “perfectly” to the end of the sentence, Chris, you perfect father, you. Wait, all this perfection is making us a little dizzy. 4. When he apologised in advance for possibly screwing up Source: tumblr.com Ladies love a man who is not afraid to say he is sorry for the wrongs he has committed. But how mind-blowing it is when a man is willing to admit his wrongdoing even before he sins? Just before starting the press tour for Jurassic World last year, Chris posted a pre-emptive mea culpa on Facebook, saying: "I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming #JurassicWorld press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s). I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try!" Don’t be so hard on yourself, Chris. Want to watch I Not Stupid reruns together? 5. When he ran around in red stilettos on The Late Late Show With James Corden Source: giphy.com It wasn’t just an amusing stunt. No, it showed his sensitivity to the female experience and his willingness to walk a mile in another’s, er, shoes. Yes, it was a political statement on behalf of the voiceless, the marginalised, and those silently suffering the oppression of unnaturally high arches. What a man. 6. When he went bass fishing on the set of The Magnificent Seven “Look at this big ass bass! And more importantly the $20 zebco pushbutton Walmart special I used to haul it in”, he wrote as a caption for an Instagram post in which he was proudly brandishing the fish he had caught while working on his latest film. With that, he proved not only that he is a man your mother would approve of, but that he’d also be totally fun to bargain-hunt with in Sheng Siong. 7. When he proudly showed off his hair-braiding skills It has been two years since Chris revealed that he can turn his wife Anna Faris’ hair into a mean French braid — or rather, “freedom braid”, as he likes to call it. But we are still reeling from the perfection of his sensitive man fingers because the man braids his wife’s hair. Of course Star-Lord does. Because he’s perfect. He’s Chris Pratt. The Magnificent Seven opens in cinemas Sept 22. More Stories 7 reasons Lee Byung-hun is making it in Hollywood and Jay Chou didn’t 7 signs Denzel Washington was sent to save the human race
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